September 2004

submitted by Jama (Southard Farm)

It's A Chicken Thing

We raise a variety of free-range chickens. Our flock includes Bufforpingtons, California Whites, Dominique's and a few Aracaunas. They were taught early in their life where the hen house was, where to find their food and to come back to the pen to roost at night. Though nest boxes are provided, some chickens occasionally would find unusual places to lay their eggs.
One California White decided to lay her eggs beneath the toolbox in the bed of our pickup truck. This truck is used for our bi-monthly trips to town, the feed store, grocery, post office and other errands; most days it sets in the drive untouched.
In late mornings I can see the California White chicken from the kitchen window hopping in and out of the truck. I collect her egg soon afterwards.
One morning Jim decided to run into town to the farm store to pick up some building materials. "Shouldn't be gone too long," he said. And off he went. Looking out the kitchen window I saw the same California White pacing up and down the driveway. She was looking for the truck. After realizing that her nesting place had flown the coup, I imagined she would look else where to lay and went on about my daily chores. A bit later I hear Jim pulling into the drive. I look up to see the California White as fast as her little legs can carry her chasing the pickup down the drive. As he parked the truck, barely turning the key off, into the bed of the truck she hopped to lay her egg.

Free Ride

Jim, our nephew and our teenage farm hand were off to town for feed, supplies and to run a few errands. These trips can occupy 3 or 4 hours of your day due to our living rather far out in the country. The guys were gone longer than I expected, so I began to worry. Shortly I heard the truck coming down the drive. Approaching me with an arm extended out the window of the truck, hand clasped around something small, Jim says " Here is a surprise for you."
As the story was told to me, they go to the feed store, stop by the bank, and pull into the parking lot of the post office. Two go into the post office; one stays in the truck to watch the supplies. Out of the bed of the truck jumps the California White. The man remaining in the truck runs into the office and says "Jim a chicken came to town with us!"
Smack dab in the middle of town, passers by laughing and gawking, the post office employees breaking from their routine to watch a hefty 350-lb. man and a teenager chase a chicken about the parking lot. Our nephew luckily remembered a blanket in the back seat of the truck; the post office fortunately had a chain link fence and the chicken finally tired out. Stopped by the fencing, covered by the blanket, the chicken was swooped up and driven back home. On the way home she sat between the front bucket seats, didn't fuss, fight or move.
Oh, my surprise that day was the egg she laid on her way to town.
We now inspect the bed of the truck each time it is used. Checking for stowaways and eggs.

July 2004

submitted by Jama (Southard Farm)

Last summer, was working in the 8X10 feed room with refrig which also serves as a utility room for lawn care items, rakes, shovels, soaker hoses, etc. I rarely turn the light on, knowing my way around. I caught a glimpse of what I thought was black soaker hose laying on floor, coiled loosely, figured it had fell off of the shelf, didn't think much of it until it lifted its head. I screamed, freaked, ran out, slammed doors and swore never to enter again. Our farm hand, Josh, 16 yr. old neighbor boy was here. I said don't go in there unless you are armed...huge snake! He rolled his eyes and proceded to go in. I stood back ready to run. He came right back out with a look of shock on his face. He said it is huge don't think I can kill it alone!
Jim not expected in off the road for a couple of days heard the account of the story that night when he called home. His take on snakes, they are more afraid of you than you are of them and it was just probably a little black snake, they are harmless...my opinion is NOT!
Knowing I had to go in twice daily to collect feed until Jim could get home and kill the intruder, I armed myself with a shovel and banged on every metal object there, saying snake I am coming in please, please, please go away. Thank goodness the snake listened.
Of course when Jim came home, he looked could find no snake and I honestly think he didn't believe Josh or I either one. Life continued with me armed with shovel beating on everything, fearing for my life going into the feed room. About a week later there was an awful smell coming from the feed room. That rank smell of a dead animal. I was hoping it was the snake. That weekend Jim knew he had to clean the feed room and find the source of the smell. So he and Josh started hauling out the feed room contents. I stayed out of harms way but close enough to watch and listen. They were moving a large shelf out when I heard Jim yell at Josh to get the hoe and move away. From outside I heard a bang, a crash, a few choice curse words then Jim yelling move out of the way Josh now!
Sweating and somewhat dumbfounded, out of the feed room comes Jim carrying a limp beheaded 6 ft. long black snake. The snakes body at the thickest part was as large as Jim's forearm. Josh was bubbling with pride that they killed the mammoth black snake. The only problem was the smell was still there, the snake had been alive so that was not the source.
After disposing of the snake, taking a short break they were back in trying to locate the smell. The feed room was cleaned out, cleaned up and snake free but nothing was found to cause the smell.
That day we did find the source of the smell, a chicken had gotten into the ajoining pole barn where we store square bales of hay, she must have fallen down behind the hay bales and couldn't get out. She was laying by the vent to the feed room.
We call this the tale of the chicken who killed the 6 ft. black snake. If she wouldn't have died, Jim would have never killed the snake.

June 2004

She really wants to be a housegoat
submitted by Jama (Southard Farm)

In February 2003 we had our first set of Boer twins born on our farm. Buffy and Jody. Jody was a big boy, first to come into the world. His momma took to him right away;cleaning, loving, nursing. Buffy came a few minutes later, little precious red headed delight, though momma wasn't having anything to do with her. No matter what we did, no matter how hard I tried momma wouldn't let her nurse, barely cleaned her, seemed indifferent to her. So human momma to the rescue. I hated to have to bring the Boer goats into the circle of bottle feeding, I had enough dairy babies to feed, but knew it may have to happen.
Buffy came to live in the house due to the inclimate weather of winter. She spent her first 3 months in the house, bottle fed, diapered, brushed, pampered, constantly at my side. She wasn't the first and she won't be the last goat to have the housegoat title, but she is the most unique.
We started noticing that Buffy was interested in putting her mouth on everything I touched. The lids to the feed cans, once I replaced them after feeding she would walk up and try to put her mouth on it. The kitchen drawers and cabinets, if I was working in the kitchen she would follow behind and put her mouth on the handles. She stood extremely still when I opened and closed the screen door and stared at me. It was rather odd at first, as if she was afraid to walk thru the door, in or out.
She seemed to watch everything I did with such intensity.
When Buffy was old enough, the weather was nice enough and basically diapers didn't fit anymore, Buffy took her place out in the pen with the other pets.
It is always so hard to turn my babies out. I always feel like I am damaging them, betraying them, losing them. Yes I know they are goats and they are suppose to be outside.
I took her aside and explained how things were. That she could not live in the house any longer. Goat berries were too much now, the others needed her to be a playmate, new babies would be arriving and needed me just a little bit more than she.
Her first day out seemed to be going so very smoothly, she was out and about with the others. She wasn't any where to be seen. Deciding to finish up the laundry, carry the clothes in from the clothes line, open the screen door, walk thru the living room, there is Buffy sitting in the recliner.
How?
Back out she goes, close the screen door, purposely check twice. Go about the daily routine, keeping an eye on her. Few minutes later, no Buffy to be seen, as a matter of fact where are Thelma and Louise, hummm...I go to the house, goat berry trail up the porch steps. Screen door wide open. Buffy in the recliner, Thelma had her head stuck in the dog food bag, bouncing off the walls, Louise eating dog food from the bowl.
What?
Buffy has proven her ability to open feed cans, kitchen cabinets and the screen door. Using her mouth. You betcha...have witnesses! I knew no one would believe me, so with each visitor to the farm we allow Buffy to open the door for them. I endulge her occassionally, let her open the door and come in for very short supervised visit.
This is a daily exercise for Buffy. First thing out at play time,at a dead run she heads straight for the porch, to open the screen door. She really wants to be a housegoat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy is now 1 year old, still insists on opening the screen door, feed cans and the feed room door if allowed.
She gave birth to a beautiful full blood Boer baby girl in April and is a wonderful mother.

May 2004

My Capricious Delight
By Cathy (Barefootchef)

As Capri, the Afghan Hound, strolled along enjoying the beautiful fields and wonderful shade trees she realized she felt better than she ever had before. Everything also looked much brighter and clearer than it had in years. “My goodness” she thought. “I feel like a young puppy again!” She was amazed by the beauty of her surroundings and the peacefulness she felt inside.

All of a sudden she heard a familiar voice.

“Hey, Capri you’re late,” exclaimed Kashmere.

“Kashmere, my old friend, I haven’t seen you in ages. What do you mean, late? I’m not late. Late for what?” Capri replied.

“Oh yes you are late! We’ve been waiting on you here. I wanted you on our team to play catch. You are a great catcher and we needed you.” Kashmere retorted back. “Do you know how many games you could have made a difference in?”

“I said I’m NOT late...what in the world are you talking about?” was Capri’s reply. She couldn’t understand why her old friend would be so insulting about her timing.

“Well” Kashmere replied, “You were supposed to be here exactly 14 1/2 years, 3 hours, 2 minutes and 45 seconds ago!”

“What are you talking about? And hey, didn’t you get hit by a car?” asked Capri. “Everyone was talking about it you know?” “Pretty gruesome I heard.”

Kashmere’s face became contorted. She looked at Capri and asked, “Do you know where your are?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, no, I was just wondering about that!” Capri said with a curious look on her face. “It is really beautiful here, and I feel so at peace and comfortable. Something I have never felt before.”

“I didn’t think you had a clue! Did you ever wonder how come a dog of your age feels so good? How a dog with cataracts could see so well?” Kashmere smartly replied.

“What is your point my old friend?” Now Capri was curious and confused at the same time.

“How do you think my mangled legs have straightened out so? Did you hear how many of my bones were broken by that car? Look at me...I am the picture of health” Kashmere was proud to reply.

“Well,” replied Capri, “I was wondering about that. I thought maybe it was only a rumor I heard and that maybe you had been sent to a new home.”

“Hey, I was sent to a new home alright. This one. That car did me in. And let me tell you, it is the greatest place to be! None of us here want for anything. Anything that is except our special humans” Kashmere now had a hint of longing ness in her eyes. She was thinking of her special human that she missed very much. “Capri this is where we wait...we wait for our special humans to cross over the Rainbow Bridge. Look...it is just over there.

“Wow!” exclaimed Capri. “This is really it? I can’t believe it. I made it here. When is my special human coming to get me?”

Kashmere replied, “We don’t know the answer to that question my dear friend.” But I can tell you this. Our wait will be comfortable and enjoyable. We want for nothing here.

As Capri looked around she began to have lots of questions about her new surroundings. “What is that?” Capri asked her old friend.

“Oh, that is the “Goat Dog” yard replied Kashmere. “Those dogs are the ones that didn’t listen to their owners and chased and killed goats in their lifetime. They never realized that what they did would eventually have consequences.” Those goats in that luscious green field with trees that forever have leaves for them to eat are waiting for their owners to come. In the meantime, the dogs that took their lives on earth are there and will be forever chased by the ones they harmed. One must pay for the injustices that have been done on earth.”

“Oh my,” said Capri. “I’m so glad my owner kept me from doing things like that! I can’t imagine the humiliation of being chased by a goat!”

Kashmere just nodded and replied, “There are all sorts of places here like that for bad dogs. We must pay our dues for the bad things we did. There are places here for chicken killers, cat killers...you name it, we got it!”

Pointing to another area nosy little Capri asked, “Who are those animals over there?” She had so many questions to ask and was curious about all of her new surroundings.

Kashmere smiled and said, “Oh those animals are the ones that were unwanted by their humans on earth. They will get to go to people who couldn’t have pets before...you know...like the humans whose companions forbade them to have pets...those who wanted pets but were unable to pay for their care...no animal goes without love here! It is a wonderful thing. Someone will come for them and they won’t have to spend eternity alone.”

All of a sudden Kashmere got the grandest smile on her face. “Oh and just wait until you get to meet the big boss...he is the main man behind the golden gates after you cross the Rainbow Bridge...he is really nice, you’ll like him. Sometimes he will come and sit with us, bringing us our favorite treats. He talks with us and gives us pats. When he pats you, you are just overwhelmed with love. He loves all of his animals very much and you can just feel it when he is here. A very gentle man he is. We all enjoy his company very much. You will never experience a touch quite like his.”

Suddenly Capri was overwhelmed with emotion and seemed to realize what was going on. She realized that she had a purpose in life. She turned to her old friend Kashmere and said, “No, my dear friend, I am not late in my arrival here. I now realize that I have had a job to do on earth. A very important job. More important than a ball game with my dear friends.” Capri now had a very serious look on her face. “That job was to teach my human owner compassion and to respect life. She needed to learn that a little hard work can bring a lot of love and joy into your life.” “Heck, if she hadn’t have saved me, she wouldn’t have learned that lesson!” My life would have been without meaning. I had to teach her unconditional love for the smallest of animals. It sure was a struggle for me, I didn’t know if she’d pull me out of it sometimes, but hey, it was well worth it!” Now Capri was beaming with joy...the joy of having a purpose in life.

All of a sudden Buddy, a Golden Retriever, suddenly stopped in his tracks. He had a glow in his eyes that nobody had seen before. He stood erect. His ears were upright. His tail had a wag in it that nobody had seen before. All of a sudden he ran as fast as he could.

“What is going on?” asked Capri.

“Shhhhh”, said Kashmere “That is Buddy’s special human. They have come for him and the two are going to cross over the bridge together.”

There was a joyous tear in everyone’s eye. All of the animals stood for a moment in silence out of respect...respect for the love of a human and their animal and of having an animal get to meet their special human and cross the Rainbow Bridge and be together forever. It is a reverent response that each one gets in this beautiful waiting place.

After watching Buddy and his owner cross the bridge together everything resumed as it had been before. All games were being played, grass eaten, frolicking just for the enjoyment of it...naptime whenever and just for the fun of it...everything that is but with a brighter light within each animal. The light that left each one knowing that their special human would be coming for them and they could cross the Rainbow Bridge together and never be apart again.

This is a partial true story. The story is about Calisso Capricious Delight, a puppy that I bred that unfortunately was born with her intestines out. A puppy that some breeders would have not considered saving. A puppy that some veterinarians told me they wouldn’t have tried to save. This puppy after having her intestines put back in came up with septicemia, a blood infection that is serious. I carried her under my shirt for 4 1/2 weeks fighting for her life. This puppy lived for 14 1/2 years. She was the dominate force in the household. No one could over rule her. She dictated when it was time to eat, time for treats and when nap time was. She loved to nap with her head upside down on her favorite chair. When she met Ray’s then 6 year old Shepherd (and Capri was 10) she made sure that the Shepherd understood that she COULDN’T play in the house and the Shepherd obeyed! At her 14 1/2 years she still ran up and down the stairs to sleep with us and be by our side. I had her put to sleep in my arms after her kidneys and liver quit working. She is cremated and her remains are in a brass urn and with me today. She was very special to me and I hope to cross the bridge with her by my side. I still miss my Capricious Delight.

March 2004

Shadow and Shona's Great Adventure
by Samantha Ward

As the sun came up on a lovely April morning, a mother goat bent down to nuzzle her babies, just born the night before. She gently "talked" to the little goat kids. They were living on a dairy goat farm in Caprineville, Virginia, and Angel, the mother goat, was one of the owner's favorite Alpine does. The twins she gave birth to were a boy and girl, named Shadow and Shona. The boy was named Shadow because he was a gray, like rocks, and he followed his mother around. They named the girl Shona simply because they liked the name. Angel had had many kids before, and most of them had to be sold, so she was used to that.
The twins soon grew older, and they began playing outside. They loved romping in the fields with the other kids, visiting Buddy, the guard dog of the herd, and going to the pond to get a drink of cool water. Even though Angel has had other kids before, something about these two seemed different to her. She decided they were her favorite kids ever, and hated to think of the day when they would have to leave the farm.
She flew into a panic one day when she couldn't find them, bleating and running around frantically, until she remembered that they had gone to see their friend Beauty, a sheep living on the farm. At night she snuggled close to them in the warm straw and gently bleated.
The weeks passed quickly, and soon August had arrived. At 4 months old, the kids were now old enough to be separated from their Mother. Angel became anxious when she realized the time when kids are usually sold was nearby. Whenever Shona or Shadow tried to wander off somewhere, she would chase after them, bleating nervously.
Finally, the day came when a large truck pulled into the driveway. There were wooden bars in the bed, as well as straw. A man came out from the cab, talked to the farmer for a moment, and began loading a few kids into the back of his truck. At first the twins didn't understand what was happening, but then they realized that they were being taken away! Frantic bleats could be heard from both kids and does as they were being separated, and Angel paced along the fence helplessly, screaming for her babies. Many of the does were first-time mothers, and had never experienced this. Angel had seen almost all of her kids being sold, so it was odd that she became so attached to these certain ones. Shona and Shadow tried desperately to call back to their Mother as the engine started, but their voices were lost in the cries of other goats. The truck and the yells of the kids grew smaller as it drove down the road, until it was no longer in sight and all sounds of the kids had disappeared. A few does still stood against the fence, calling for their children, but Angel knew it was useless. With her head hanging low, she trudged sadly back to the barn.
For a few days, Angel was very sad. She didn't eat as much as she usually did, and she looked very sorrowful.
Meanwhile, Shadow and Shona were scared and confused. They rode in the truck for hours, past fields and forests, houses and lakes. Finally it reached its destination - another farm, but it was different than their original home.
The new goats were placed in a barn, and given hay to eat. Before long the other kids had adjusted to their new home, but Shadow and Shona were extremely lonely. All they could think about was how much they missed their mother. By the time they had been there two days, they decided they had to try to escape.
That night, while the rest of the farm was sleeping, they pushed open the heavy door and ran out into the night. It was dark and hard to see, but they managed to find their way into the nearby woods. It was an old forest, and the trees looked like huge people with long fingers to the terrified little goats. For a while they even considered going back, but even though the woods were horrifying, they wanted to find a way to return to Angel.
They continued walking until they were too tired, at which point they found a comfortable spot underneath a tree, curled up together, and went to sleep, dreaming about a warm, comfy-cozy barn back at their old farm.
The next morning they awoke to find that sunlight made the trees seem a lot less frightening. Shadow found a pleasant stream for them to drink from. They ate grass and leaves, being careful not to eat the poisonous ones Angel had warned them about. Soon they continued, trying to figure out which way to go. They remembered certain landmarks from their ride in the truck, but they were still not sure they were headed in the right direction.
Suddenly, they came across a gentle brook with a slight cliff around the edges. Shadow jumped across and landed on the other side.
"Come on," he called to his sister.
"I don't think I can jump that far," answered Shona with concern. "You are much better than I am. What if I fall in?"
"Well, you're going to have to get across somehow. Girls
are such a pain sometimes, always complaining. But maybe there's something we can use to help you cross."
"It's not my fault that does aren't as strong as bucks." muttered Shona angrily. But she reluctantly helped Shadow look. After a little bit of searching, they discovered a log across the gap, which Shona was able to cross.
"Be careful!" Shadow called as his sister precariously edged across the bridge. "If you fall in, I'll never be able to get you out."
"I'm not going to fall off! I do have balance, you know!"
Shona yelled back to him right before she reached the end.
They found shelter that night underneath some rocks, next to a creek. Their second day of traveling seemed to be going well. They found the road the truck had taken to get there, and they were sure that if they followed it, they would be home in no time.
But problems arose later that afternoon when it began to rain. The twins were cold, wet, and blinded by the heavy rain. Instead, they decided to search for refuge to stay dry from the rain. It was then that they saw a barn in the distance. For awhile, they argued about what to do.
"But Shona, there might be other goats in there!"
"Well, they probably won't mind. Besides, we can't stay out here!"
So they finally decided to go inside. As they pushed open the heavy door, they found themselves face-to-face with some of the strangest animals they'd ever seen!
The horses were perplexed by the two tiny creatures who had unexpectedly entered their stable.
"Could they be sheep?" asked Belle, the black Quarter Horse, remembering the animals she had seen in pastures before.
"Nooooo, they're not woolly enough," replied Prancer, the Chestnut Thoroughbred.
"Are you cows?" Shona piped up timidly. She had seen some of these creatures grazing at the farm next to theirs.
"Of course not!" said Thunder angrily. He was a dapple-grey Arabian, and didn't like being confused with other animals. "We're HORSES! And what in the world are YOU?"
"We are called GOATS. We were wondering if we could stay in your barn, since it's raining?"
"Oh, I've seen goats before," answered Star, the kindly bay Morgan. "Of course you can stay with us. Sleep in this stall with me."
Tears sprang to the twins' eyes.
"Thank you!" said Shona gladly.
"By the way, what are you doing here?" asked Star, with curiosity.
The goats told them their story. When they were finished, Fancy, the Palomino exclaimed,
"That is so sad! I had a foal before, and I'd hate to have it sold."
"It's late …………………… we should go to bed." It was Buck, the dun Mustang speaking, and everyone agreed.
Early in the morning, Shadow and Shona awoke to Star whispering,
"Be very quiet, Don't move. I'm going to cover you up with straw so that my owner won't see you. I don't think she would like to find a couple of goats in her barn."
They were as still as they could be, they could hear someone moving around and talking to the horses ( of course, they didn't talk back since animals never talk to people), and after waiting nervously, Star said "All right. The coast is clear."
As the twins wriggled from beneath the straw, she said, "The rain has stopped, so you will be good to go. By the way, which farm did you come from?"
They described it to her.
"Why, I used to live at that farm!" Star exclaimed excitedly. "I can help you find it."
They crept out of the barn and headed toward the woods. As it turns out, horses have incredible memories, so Star knew exactly which way to lead them.
"If we keep going this fast, we should reach the farm by tomorrow." Star promised hopefully. The kids' tails wagged, excited at the prospect of reaching their old home. They could almost taste the honeysuckle that they had adored eating, and they looked forward to running out in an open field, splashing in the pond, and curling up in a bed of warm straw after a long day.
Star proved to be a very valuable traveling companion. She showed the kids where to find a nice, cool water pool to drink from. She discovered a cave to sleep in that the twins never would have found by themselves. And they were delighted to find that the scenery was becoming more familiar.
But after awhile they were forced to walk past a few houses without any cover. Because of this, one of the humans that saw them called the SPCA to catch them. Luckily, the quick-thinking equine thought up a plan that allowed them to evade capture. Star ran at the people, as Shadow and Shona quickly fled. Soon, they managed to safely disappear from sight.
They had many interesting conversations with Star. She had lived at their farm until last year, when the farmer sold all of his horses. That was before either of them had been born, so they had never seen a horse.
"It's a shame my new owner only has horses. I miss having all those goats to talk to, they are such nice company."
Flattered, Shadow and Shona told her, "Thank you."
Exhausted from so much walking, Shona and Shadow began to lag behind. Noticing this, their guide proposed they rest for awhile. She led them to a shady place under a small hill, and told them she was going to try to see how much farther they had to go. She returned in a little while with encouraging news - they would probably be able to reach their destination before nightfall!
This lifted the twins' spirits high, but then Shona noticed that Star was limping. When she asked what was wrong, Star explained that she had a pebble stuck in her shoe. She lifted her hoof so that they could examine it, and after Shadow inspected it, he was able to find and remove the stone.
"Thanks. Horses have to be careful about what we step on. If we didn't wear these shoes, our hooves would get cut all the time." the horse explained. She also told the kids about being ridden, like the difference between an English and Western saddle, and how to do jumping, dressage, barrel racing, and jousting.
The kids bombarded Star with questions, which she patiently answered as they continued to walk.
Suddenly, in the distance they saw a beautiful sight - the large, red barn of their old home! "You can probably get there from here. I need to return to my stable now …… my owner's probably frantic because she can't find me," said Star.
The twins sadly told her goodbye, and thanked her for all her help. Then, as she began to walk away, they took off running as fast as they could, because they couldn't wait to arrive there.
Soon, they got to the barn, out of breath, but so happy to be back! The other goats were amazed and happy to see them home, and when Angel heard the news, she was full of joy.
The farmer heard all the noise and came over to see what the commotion was about. He just couldn't understand how these kids he'd sold had managed to get back. He decided he might as well keep them, and he gave them to his granddaughter, Lilly, for her 10th birthday. Since her family lived in the city, the twins would be kept at the farm.
The kids couldn't be happier to be home, and they couldn't wait to do all of their favorite activities.
That night, as Shadow and Shona were finally able to snuggle next to their mother, she whispered,
"I was right. There WAS something special about you!"

THE END

January 2004 ~ Submitted by Jamie

CLYDE THE FLYING GOAT
by Jamie
(In memory of Bonnie)

On a bitter cold night Clyde and Bonnie, twin Pygmy goats, were born to an uncaring mother and it seemed the first hours of their life would also be their last. Unable to stand to drink the lifesaving colostrum they grew weaker until finally the human owner found them huddled together, frozen to the ground and at death's door. Unable to care for them a local goat mistress was called to see if she would be interested in raising two bottle babies and she gladly accepted. Bonnie and Clyde were introduced to their new mommy, Miss Udder, mistress of Rosepatch Farm.
Miss Udder brought them home and worked diligently to nurse them back to health and teach them to drink from a bottle which Clyde took to with gusto but alas little Bonnie was just too weak and on the second day of her life she made the journey across the Rainbow Bridge leaving Clyde alone and Miss Udder heartbroken. Even though she was with them such a short time they felt there was something special about her and it made both grieve deeply. Days passed and the attachment between human a goat grew, and each, while quietly mourning the passing of Bonnie, grew to love and trust the other. He looked to her for his very survival and she saw him as the child she had never been blessed with.
Clyde grew by leaps and bounds with proper nourishment and an abundance of love and Miss Udder knew it wouldn't be long before she lost her baby to adulthood so she relished every moment of his young life. He was so curious about the world around him and everything had to be tasted or sniffed. And he loved to run! He would run and jump and kick his heels up with gusto just because he could. He was soon able to reach things, which opened a new world for him. By two weeks he could jump on the couch into Miss Udder's arms and he continued to get bigger and stronger but the love and trust he had for her never diminished.
One day in his excitement of playing hide and seek with Miss Udder, Clyde moved
to jump down from the couch and back up onto the recliner, which was located across the living room. He kicked his heels and jumped as high as he could and when he landed.... he was in the recliner! With a look of sheer astonishment Miss Udder uttered, "Clyde! You...you... you flew! Oh good gracious, I have a flying goat!" Clyde sensing he had done something wonderful wanted to show her again so he kicked up his heels and jumped as high as he could again and.... fell flat on his face.
What happened!? He knew he did it before but why couldn't he do it again? So he climbed back onto the chair and tried again. He hit the floor with a thud. Embarrassed, he decided to just take a nap. All the while he had Miss Udder
doubting her own sanity. "I know I saw him fly, I just know it." But neither could
understand what had happened and why it didn't happen again.
Later that night Clyde couldn't sleep for wondering what had happened to him that
day. What was he thinking? Everyone knew goats couldn't fly. Wait! That's it! The secret was what he was thinking about when it happened. While playing he had realized how fun it would be if he still had his sister with him while doing all the crazy things that he and Miss Udder did together. And that's when he had flown. He crept up from his bed quietly and jumped back onto the couch. In the dark he whispered, "Bonnie, are you the one helping me fly?" And with that he kicked his heels and jumped and he soared around the living room! "Weeeeee-heeeee!!!! I'm really flying!" Hearing the commotion Miss Udder ran
into the living room as Clyde went whizzing by her head. "Aaaack! Good Lord Clyde, you're going to give me a heart attack..... Oh my, you can fly!"
So life began anew for the little flying goat. Miss Udder, realizing what a phenomenon this was knew that it must be kept a closely guarded secret. If word got out someone might come to take Clyde to study or test him and she would never let him be abused or made a freak. And instinctively Clyde knew his flying was not something he could do all the time. So he did it only in the house or outside late at night. He would fly with the fireflies and soar across the treetops never getting out of Miss Udder's sight though. He would do loops and fly upside down and then
land in her arms to be carried back into the house for his bedtime bottle.
Clyde continued to grow and soon it was time for him to live with the other goats
and Miss Udder was distraught as was Clyde. They had been constant companions for so long and it was breaking their hearts to be separated. His first night with the goats he got hit by the big black one and he cried out for Miss Udder but she was inside and couldn't hear him. So he curled up in a corner trying to be invisible so the other goats wouldn't notice him and hurt him anymore.
As the days passed Clyde learned to stay out of the way and try to act invisible. He had grown big and strong with hard muscles and beautiful long horns. He was such a handsome buck but was still having a hard time finding his niche with the other goats and the black one, who he learned was named Rosie and was herd queen, continued to bully him. And not once did he make any attempt to fly again. Miss Udder figured he was probably too big but that was okay because she knew her boy would be safer that way.
One morning when she went to check on them she wasn't greeted by the normal goat greetings that she always heard and then she saw Clyde standing fearfully at the gate waiting on her. He was alone. When she walked into the barn her heart fell to her stomach. All the goats were down! They were sick and running fevers.
Apache and Edward seemed to be the worst, Little Brother and Rosie had the highest fevers and Cowgirl seemed to have been the last stricken. She was at least trying to drink some water. It was obvious to Miss Udder that they had the dreaded Brushgoat virus and were highly infectious. She had to get Clyde out before he went down too so once again he was back with Miss Udder in the house.
He was glad to be with her but he was real sorry about the sick goat herd even though they didn't like him and he hated seeing Miss Udder so tired and worried over them. She kept a round the clock vigil with them and barely slept or ate. She read all the goat books and journals and searched the Internet for a cure for this deadly virus. She had discovered a forum called GoatTalk with many helpful and supportive people who would help her find the antitoxin that would cure her goats. They had helped her numerous times in the past and it was always the first place
she turned. The moderators, Miss Pygmy, Miss Mancha, Miss Fire, Miss Sunshine and Miss Lola were also the only other humans who knew of Clyde's special ability to fly. So she told them of her dilemma and they went to work.
The goat goddesses of GoatTalk put their heads together and Miss Pygmy in California said she could make the antitoxin but it was illegal to mail it back East due to strict shipping laws resulting from previous terrorist activity. Miss Udder greatly appreciated the help but that was thousands of miles away and if she didn't have it immediately her beloved pets would die. What was Miss Udder to do? She needed it now. What she really needed was a miracle. Clyde watched all this unfolding before him and felt so helpless. He wanted to help Miss Udder and see her happy again. He wanted to hear her laughter like she used to do when he would fly.
That's it! I can get the antitoxin and save the goats and make Miss Udder happy again, he excitedly thought. So unnoticed, he made his way out of the room and he went outside. "Bonnie, if you can hear me, Miss Udder needs our help real bad. I can fly to California to get that medicine if you'll loan me your wings one more time." So he closed his eyes, kicked up his heels and jumped off the porch and away he flew! Across the trees and valleys on his way out of the mountains to the vast and scary unknown world beyond. He flew as fast as he could and made it all the way to
California with only a minor brush with an airplane and one quick stop at a hayfield with a nearby stream for some nourishment.
Once on the West Coast circling low and hiding above the trees he heard a familiar baaaa, baaaa. Goats! In a field were several fat pygmy goats and he knew he had found Miss Pygmy's house. Warily he went lower and saw a lady out feeding. She was doling out grain to each and every one and they lovingly gathered around her. Clyde circled even lower and with a soft thud landed on the ground behind her. Miss Pygmy turned around and was so startled to see a strange goat she threw her hands in the air, spilling the rest of her grain which her goats quickly devoured. "Who are you, little buck?" Clyde stood with his head bowed, too tired to be afraid or run and she leaned closer to him for further inspection and saw the tiny wings. "Oh my! Clyde, is that you?! There's no way! You live on the East Coast." Spent and exhausted, Clyde laid at her feet unable to go another step, knowing he was safe with this nice lady. "You poor dear, I don't understand how you came this far or why but you must be tired and hungry. She bent down and tenderly carried Clyde into her house. He was given goat chow and sweet alfalfa hay, he had never tasted anything so good, and then she dosed him with a hefty amount of fast-acting vitamins and a Probiotic. He drank long and deep from the cool water she offered and then he was fast asleep. He dreamt of Miss Udder and Bonnie and the sick herd at home. The herd! With a start he woke, realizing he wasn't home and had no time to waste if he wanted to save them and make Miss Udder happy again. "Baaaaaaa", he said to Miss Pygmy. "What is it, Clyde? What's the matter?" He circled her and raised up on hind legs with another loud "BAAAA". Miss Pygmy understood he was trying to tell her something but what could it be? In desperation Clyde started frantically searching through the house, going from room to room with a series of baaaaas every step he took. Miss Pygmy caught up to him as he entered her laboratory where all the great goat medicines were created and stored. His search ended when he spotted the bottle labeled "ANTITOXIN" on a shelf high above his head.
"I see it"! he cried to himself. "Come on Bonnie, you've got to help me." With that thought he kicked his heels and rose up to the shelf landing beside the bottle of medicine. He nudged it with his nose and looked pleadingly at Miss Pygmy. Please let her understand, he thought. She said, "Clyde, get down from there and get away from that antitoxin. That's for Miss Udder's sick goats and you don't need to be....." And then it dawned on her and she knew why he was there. He was helping his goat mommy save her beloved goats. "Oh Clyde, you sweet boy. Now I know what you're doing. Come down here and let me help you get on your way back home."
He dropped to the floor and she found a tiny bag and fashioned a strap around it much like a St. Bernard wears around their neck. She placed the precious antitoxin inside with a note to Miss Udder instructing how to administer it and she tied it securely around Clyde's neck. With a kiss on his nose and a pat on the head she raised a window and said, "Godspeed to you, Great One. My prayers are with you in your journey." And with that Clyde kicked his heels, rose into the air circling her head before darting out the window. He had received another dose of the vitamins
from Miss Pygmy before leaving so he felt rejuvenated and strong as he made his way back to the East.
He flew as fast as his borrowed wings would go and stayed hidden in the clouds waiting for the cover of night. Sometimes he would fly with his eyes closed, pretending that he was a superhero put on this earth to take care of all caprine needs. He could fly anywhere he wanted looking for sick or abused goats and find them the proper medication if needed just like he was doing now. If they had cruel owners he would fly right into their butts and stick them with his mighty horns and then help the goats find good homes with people like Miss Udder and Miss Pygmy.
Everybody would know who he was. They would say, "That's Clyde the super goat" and they would want to pat his head and give him treats. Maybe he could even become famous! He could maybe be in movies like that collie dog or that big gentle bear he had seen on TV. People would pay money to see his movies and maybe he could have his own personal barn that would be cool in the summer and warm in the wint.. SPLAT!! "Ouch!!"
"Whoooooooo!"
"Who said who and what in the world are you?" Clyde said while rubbing his sore head.
"I'm a wise owl, Stupid, and what do you mean by knocking me down like that?"
"If you're so wise you would've been watching where you were going" Clyde said.
"Oh really?" the owl replied. "And if you weren't so stupid you would know that
goats don't fly which means I, being a winged creature, had the right-of-way!" Clyde sniffed in disdain. "Oh yeah? Well right now I am a winged creature and with that he kicked his heels and a pain shot through him. "Oh no! What is wrong with me?" The hateful owl laughed at him and said, "You're not going very far with that wounded wing." Laughing and hooting he sailed into the night sky leaving Clyde injured and hurting on the ground. "Wait!" Clyde cried, but the owl was gone.
"Where in the heck am I?" he wondered. The mountainous landscape reminded him of home but everything was unfamiliar. He started to get scared as the night sounds closed in around him so he began making his way out of the forest to try to get his bearings about him and figure out what to do about his wounded wing. One thing he was sure of, Bonnie would kill him if she could!
As he followed a creek bed down a hollow he heard a noise. "Goats! I hear goats!"
and he began to run toward the clearing and what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks. Standing in a field was the biggest goats he had ever seen in his life! They were white and brown with funny noses and they were huge. He crept forward for a better look. He carefully and silently made his way through the fence, it was big and he easily squeezed through and headed toward the barn. "Maybe there's something in there I can fix my wing with," he thought. A twig snapped and he
froze. "Who are you!?" came a booming voice from behind him. He gulped and looked way up into the face of the meanest looking buck God had ever created. "I...I'm Clyde and I've hurt myself and need some help," he stammered, hoping this creature would take some pity on him. By that time all the other goats, there were hundreds of them, had crowded around him and he knew they could kill him in an instant. Another large male with a kind face stepped forward and said, "Our mistress will be back soon and she will help you. Go wait in the barn and help yourself to some hay and water," so without hesitation Clyde headed to the big barn but he was too tired and in too much pain to eat so he laid down on the soft hay and fell asleep.
Awhile later he was awakened by the laughter and talking of humans and he tried
to burrow deeper into the hay so they wouldn't see him. He listened to their conversation as they made their way toward him. "That was so informative but as much as we hate too it's time for Miss Sunshine and myself to head back to Texas. We really appreciate you inviting us up here Miss Fire, and I must say your Boers are exceptional." "I enjoyed having all of you here, Miss Mancha. "You and Miss Sunshine have a safe trip back to Texas." That left Miss Fire and the other lady standing not five feet from where Clyde was hiding. The dark haired lady stated that she too must be heading back to North Carolina. "Our friend still has five sick goats in Virginia and I've got to call and check on them as soon as I get back and see if she needs anything." Miss Fire said, "Has Miss Udder found a way to get the antitoxin yet?" Clyde gasped! They knew his goat mommy! Now he knew where he was and who all these people were because his mommy talked to them on GoatTalk all the time and he would lay at her feet and listen to her. It was the other Goat Goddesses in
the flesh! They had all met in Tennessee for a goat convention and he remembered his mommy talking about it and wanting to go but the goats got sick and she couldn't. That dumb owl couldn't have knocked him down in a better place. Boy, he wished Miss Udder was here. She would be thrilled. That thought made him sad though because he sure did miss her. He felt like crying but bucks don't cry so he just sniffed and wiped his nose in the hay. Realizing how quiet it had became he looked up and the two nice ladies were staring at him. "Hey there, little fellow. Who are you hiding from? Come on out and let us see you." Warily he approached the ladies and felt gentle hands caressing his neck. The dark haired lady said, "What's that around your neck, boy?" She loosened the collar and found the antitoxin inside with Miss Udder's name on it and the dosage
instructions. "Clyde!? Is that really you Clyde?" the dark haired lady asked with excitement.
He nuzzled closer to her and she realized that somehow this little goat was trying to help Miss Udder and save the five goats.
"Miss Fire! Do you realize who we have here? This is Clyde, Miss Udder's flying goat! He's trying to get back to Virginia. Miss Udder called me the other day and told me that Miss Pygmy had the antitoxin but she had no way to ship it back East. That's what I started to tell you when we found him." Clyde looked at the woman in amazement. If Miss Udder had called her then she could only be one person. It was Miss Lola, the lady who was the original goat mommy to his herd back home! He knew he could trust her with his life and he felt
so much better and not a bit scared. He nudged her with his horns and she and Miss Fire continued to stroke him. They gave him the same quick-acting vitamins that Miss Pygmy had given him along with a Probiotic and some cool water. What a lucky flying goat he was.
"I've decided to take a detour through the mountains of Virginia before I go back
home," Miss Lola said. "This little guy has worked hard enough and deserves a ride
and maybe I can help Miss Udder in some way."
Soon he was loaded up in her truck and she let him ride in the front seat like Miss
Udder always did. Before they reached the end of the driveway he was fast asleep and slept all the way home as the sun peeped over the Appalachian Mountains. They found Miss Udder at the barn with slumped shoulders and a tear-stained face. Miss Lola walked up to her and without saying a word gave her a big hug. Miss Udder sobbed on her shoulder, "My babies aren't going to make it Miss Lola, and I don't know what to do and when I woke up this morning Clyde was nowhere to be found. I just know he caught the virus and has crawled off and died," and she sobbed even harder. "Maaaaaaaaa," Clyde cried as he looked at his grief-stricken mommy. "Clyde!!! Oh my baby, are you alright? Where have you been? I've been so scared." While human and goat nuzzled and loved Miss Lola gave the five goats the antitoxin and got to visit with the ones that were once her babies. "This will make you guys feel so much better. You are going to make it and you're all going to be good as new, do you hear me?"
Good-byes were said with laughter and tears among the two humans and half dozen
goats who had already started to perk up. Miss Udder took Clyde inside the house where he would be staying until the goats were no longer contagious and gave him his favorite treat, a bite of homemade biscuit, and she tended to his wounded wing. Days passed and everybody got better and one morning upon waking Miss Udder noticed that Clyde's wings were once again gone so she knew he was healed. Clyde had no way of telling her that Bonnie had came for them in the middle of the night but he sensed that she already knew he flew on borrowed wings. She fixed her coffee and said, "Clyde, we need to talk about something. All the goats are better and the virus is wiped out but I've been thinking that if you want to
become a house goat again then I'm all for it. I know the grief that Rosie and the other goats cause you and I won't put you through that again. You saved their life and I feel like you've earned this reward." She was saying he could be a house goat again! Wow, no more getting butted or having to sleep in the cold. He could be with his mommy all the time and could start going to work with her again! But the doubts crept into his mind that maybe that wasn't the right thing to do. Clyde had grown into a big strapping buck. He wasn't a baby anymore even though staying with Miss Udder was so tempting. The realization of what he must do dawned on him and he got up and walked to the door. "Where are you going, honey?", Miss Udder questioned and he looked back at her with all the love he felt for her showing on his handsome face. As they looked into each other's eyes she knew that her bottle baby had became a proud and wonderful adult buck and it was time for her to let go. "You go, big guy. Do what you need to do."
With his head held high and the determination of a warrior he walked into the field
among the herd. As he neared them Rosie looked at him and narrowed her eyes. She approached with her ears and tail twitching and when only a few feet away she reared up on hind legs but so did Clyde. The doubt showed in her eyes for a split second upon realizing that not only was he bigger he was also unafraid. "Do it, old woman," he said as they circled each other. "You've bullied me for the last time so give it your best shot." Rosie nickered at him and eased closer, dropping her head in a move of intimidation. "That's some awfully big talk coming from a spoiled bottle baby," she sneered. "You are as foolish as Miss Udder if you think I'm afraid of anything, little boy." Upon hearing the disparaging remark made about his human mom he saw red! Before the old black doe knew what was happening Clyde rose to his full height and slammed her. She stumbled back and before she could recover he hit her again, knocking her down. Standing over her and with a booming voice he said, "If you intend to live in this herd you will treat Miss Udder and the rest of us with respect. You will stop stealing the other's feed and being a bully to all you come in contact with. I'm sorry that you didn't have it as good as I did when you were young but that's no excuse to
be malicious to everyone now. This is a new beginning, old girl. Today I become herd leader of all goats on Rosepatch Farm and this includes you. You will see it my way or I will make sure you're sent to the auction!" Hearing all this, the other goats came running and dancing across the field to be near their new leader. They gently butted heads with him and did the goat dance with each other while Apache lead the way in a series of whirly moves with Edward, Little Brother and Cowgirl prancing along behind him. It was a good day! Fuming, Rosie stalked off.
That night after supper when all goats were nestled in the barn Clyde laid down outside keeping watch for night predators. He closed his eyes and like he did every night before sleeping he thought of Bonnie and how badly he wished she had lived to be with him on this wonderful farm with Miss Udder as their mistress. He felt a warm breeze against his neck and he knew she was there.
"Clyde? Are you asleep?" Bonnie inquired.
"No" he replied, "I'm listening".
"This is my last trip back across the Rainbow Bridge, Clyde. I've got to keep the wings but I just wanted to tell you something. You are my twin, my other half, and as long as you live I live too. The memory of me carried by you and Miss Udder is what keeps me alive even though I'm making this final journey. I'm so proud of you and I always knew you were something special. Everything happens for a reason. Even though you mourn my death, without that happening I couldn't have
helped you save your herd. My mission is complete."
"Bonnie?" Clyde said with a catch in his voice. "What's across the Rainbow Bridge? Where do you go when you reach the other side?"
"In your heart, Clyde-that's where I live now."
"I love you, Bonnie."
"I love you too, Clyde."
And it comes to pass in the days that followed, the flying goat is no more. In its place
is a mighty buck, keeper of his herd is respected by each and every goat. He devotes himself to them as they do to him. The mistress of Rosepatch Farm spends a lot of time with her goats and on occasion if you look you will see her there, the mighty buck at her side with his head in her lap. During these moments is when she and Clyde rejoice at knowing that through them Bonnie lives on and that through her they saved the herd. It is a happy time.

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